Moments with Mama… her name is Linda

I started this blog, journal, stress reliever, whatever it is or will prove to be, with the encouragement of so many wonderful friends and even strangers who are where we are or have been.  I don’t know what I’m doing so bear with me while I learn but I do know I can talk so I’ll treat it as such I suppose.   I share this first post to open the door to where we are coming from and my posts may sporadically go back and forth in time but my brain sort of works that way:)

This is all about Linda, my sweet Mama, her battle with Alzheimer Disease, and our attempts to find the joy, laughter, love, in the everyday moments, but sometimes finding without a search the heartbreak.

Mama is 75 and has had “it” for several years.  The beginning?  I may not know the exact date but I know the exact moment.  It was several years ago, around 2008, and it was summer.  We’d gone to a ballpark to watch my son play baseball.   My cousin, Susan, was there by chance and we’d not seen her in a few weeks.  She had been battling breast cancer and Mama had been the one keeping me up to date on her progress constantly through speaking with Susan’s family, our family, our little community of people.  You know, the southern line of communication, all of which Mom was a part of.   Anyway, Susan came up and spoke, we all hugged and chatted a moment, then Mom and I went to sit down at the field.   Mama then looked at me, and I can see her face to this day, and said “Was that Susan?”  That in and of itself was shocking but then she said, “Does she have cancer?”   I still feel sick when I relive that moment.  It may seem ridiculous to someone else but it was a turning point for me.  I remember feeling like I’d been hit with a bat.  I just knew something was horribly wrong for her to ask me those questions.  After catching my breath, I told her it was Susan and that she did have breast cancer and that she’d been updating me on Susan all those past weeks.  I asked her if she remembered and she brushed it off and said she thought so.

So much has happened since that time and if for no other reason than to have my thoughts “on paper,” I hope to share it all here at some point and going forward.  During this process, I’ve been astounded and overwhelmed with the number of people, dear, sweet people, who have replied to my posts on Facebook, have emailed me, called me, hugged me out in public, who have said they understand, they’ve been there, they are there, and even those who haven’t and just feel compassion for our family.  It’s all brought me a new perspective of this small world…

Thanks for listening.

21 thoughts on “Moments with Mama… her name is Linda

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  2. Deanna Gosnell says:

    I want to tell you how much I enjoy reading your posts & now blog! You inspire us all to find the humor, joy, & most of all appreciation of family during trials of sickness or whatever the situation may be.
    I was at a young age but remember too well the battle my dad, aunts & grandma had when my grandpa developed alz.
    May the Lord continue to Bless you and your family and give you strength that only He can during this time:)
    Ps 3:3

    Like

  3. Peggy Stallings says:

    we will always be here for you and your family Tracey..Losing someone very close to me a year ago with dementia reminds me every day to be thankful for what I have in life..it was painful to watch my sister, only 10 years older than me to go through what she did but I know she is flying free with her loved ones and she will be there waiting for us one day as well. Your family is very special and the love you all have for your Mom shines through..

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  4. Lead Our Lives says:

    Tracey – You are very courageous. Welcome to this community of writers whose hearts are open and will hold loving space for you on this journey. God’s peace be with you and with your dear Mother as you both walk through these uncertain times together. I look forward to reading your beautiful heart’s expressions here. May you know, feel and appreciate the wisdom of your heart as expressed through your love.

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    • traceyebert says:

      Thank you so much for your sweet note. It means more than you know. I can always feel other’s “arms” around me through words like yours and it gets me, gets us, through another day. I hope we can be that for others as well.

      Like

  5. Anonymous says:

    Your stories/blogs just make people smile….you are such an inspiration to so many people…..please keep sharing….love and prayers with all of you!

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  6. Martha Guthrie says:

    Tracey, my great aunt and her daughter both had Alzheimer’s Disease. It is a horrible illness, and one that slowly steals away those we love. My thoughts are with you daily as are my prayers. These moments of “sunshine” that you document during such a bleak time will be will be treasured by your children and their children when they ask about their grandmother and the unwelcome journey you took together during her illness. God bless you for being such a loving daughter, and such a wonderful caretaker.

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    • traceyebert says:

      Martha, I cannot imagine having two family members, especially a mother and daughter, having the disease at the same time…. can’t even wrap my head around that. It is hard to watch the person they were and you know they would prefer to be slip away.

      Thank you so much for your sweet note to me, it means a lot.

      Like

  7. Anonymous says:

    our mom had this decease. died 2006. a wonderful women,dad is 97 now,and we miss her so much. at the same time,we praise god for preparing a place n heaven for her. you and I can can feel each others pain. only god can ease it.

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    • traceyebert says:

      You are so right. I know we could not get through it without Him and the love of others. I’m sorry to hear about your Mom but sometimes I find peace knowing about the ones I love who will be waiting on me one day. I don’t want Mom to go but it’s hard watching her be a person she would not want to be. Love and prayers to you and your family.

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  8. Anonymous says:

    Tracey, neither one of us know how many people this will help, but I’m sure it will be too many to count! It has helped so many so far from the comments I have read already. It will serve as a wonderful reminder of the relationship you have with her many years down the road. My sister wrote in a notebook every day of the things that happened with her and her husband. She still reads them to this day. God bless you. I know it’s a hard road most of the time, but I love the way you handle it. All our love, Dewey and Anna

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    • traceyebert says:

      Thanks Anna, I appreciate that so much. It helps me, I know that, to get it on paper, and I hope my kids and Mitch’s kids will treasure it one day as well. They all, we all, love her so much.

      Like

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