I started this blog, journal, stress reliever, whatever it is or will prove to be, with the encouragement of so many wonderful friends and even strangers who are where we are or have been. I don’t know what I’m doing so bear with me while I learn but I do know I can talk so I’ll treat it as such I suppose. I share this first post to open the door to where we are coming from and my posts may sporadically go back and forth in time but my brain sort of works that way:)
This is all about Linda, my sweet Mama, her battle with Alzheimer Disease, and our attempts to find the joy, laughter, love, in the everyday moments, but sometimes finding without a search the heartbreak.
Mama is 75 and has had “it” for several years. The beginning? I may not know the exact date but I know the exact moment. It was several years ago, around 2008, and it was summer. We’d gone to a ballpark to watch my son play baseball. My cousin, Susan, was there by chance and we’d not seen her in a few weeks. She had been battling breast cancer and Mama had been the one keeping me up to date on her progress constantly through speaking with Susan’s family, our family, our little community of people. You know, the southern line of communication, all of which Mom was a part of. Anyway, Susan came up and spoke, we all hugged and chatted a moment, then Mom and I went to sit down at the field. Mama then looked at me, and I can see her face to this day, and said “Was that Susan?” That in and of itself was shocking but then she said, “Does she have cancer?” I still feel sick when I relive that moment. It may seem ridiculous to someone else but it was a turning point for me. I remember feeling like I’d been hit with a bat. I just knew something was horribly wrong for her to ask me those questions. After catching my breath, I told her it was Susan and that she did have breast cancer and that she’d been updating me on Susan all those past weeks. I asked her if she remembered and she brushed it off and said she thought so.
So much has happened since that time and if for no other reason than to have my thoughts “on paper,” I hope to share it all here at some point and going forward. During this process, I’ve been astounded and overwhelmed with the number of people, dear, sweet people, who have replied to my posts on Facebook, have emailed me, called me, hugged me out in public, who have said they understand, they’ve been there, they are there, and even those who haven’t and just feel compassion for our family. It’s all brought me a new perspective of this small world…
Thanks for listening.