Anyone who knows me knows I'm always searching, for what I'm never sure, but it continues daily. I think it's primarily a peaceful spirit and a calm heart and mind, direction....oh wait, I said I was never sure, but of these things I am. But in today's time? Are those things possible? Many days I … Continue reading Present over Perfect? Yeah, right.
As I pray and delve into what I want to do with this blog for 2018, tons of ideas running through my head, I covet your prayers. I was going back through things I'd posted over the years, I found several rough drafts I'd never shared, this one from 2014.... crazy how things change and … Continue reading Old bootstraps… the best ones.
Mama will be gone a year next week. As many of you can relate, it seems like ten years and it seems like last week. Since she passed, we slowly but surely go through things of hers which never gets easier. It’s funny what you learn about someone, even those you’ve loved your whole life, … Continue reading Mama’s Shoes…
Just recently, I was at Mama's, and on occasion, Daddy and I will go through a cabinet or drawer and see what in the world she'd tucked away. In a cabinet we'd been in before was this photo, really big photo, hard to miss, but somehow we had. I don't know that I'd ever seen … Continue reading Moments with Mama… I’m not Motherless.
As I sit here in the dark, Mama is asleep in the next room. Mother’s Day is, well, not the same anymore, to say the least. When I think of what Mama has lost, I can't even take it all in. 69 years of a life before Alzheimers, 69 years gone. Thankfully, we were part … Continue reading Oh Mama…another Mother’s Day
I wanted to write this jubilant post about the new year, and yes, there are so many things I'm excited about. God has been so doggone good to me, it definitely surpasses my understanding, and I don't like being down - it's not me and if you don't want to read my Eeyore post, I … Continue reading Moments with Mama…the last prayer
Moments with Mama.... I didn't think my rushed nerves could take 15 minutes to watch the video below but I'm so glad I did - it's like it was written for me and Mama, about me and Mama. https://youtu.be/P1TCnxkvEiQ There is an indescribable feeling sometimes when I look into Mama's eyes, really look, up close, … Continue reading Moments with Mama… Inside Those Eyes
Today, my Mama turns 77. I don't know about you but the older I get, the younger that sounds. It hit me this morning though, that in Mama's world, her last birthday was around age 70.... she seems to be stuck in or around the year 2008. For women, forgetting your last seven birthdays may … Continue reading Moments with Mama… not her last birthday
I stumbled upon this song today by Jerry Lansdowne dedicated to his mother with Alzheimers. Just had to share the lyrics because they're exactly what we think Mama must feel or have felt back in the earlier stages..... "I'm not me anymore" I’m breaking I can feel it inside Something’s taking over my mind Causing … Continue reading One cell at a time…
So I broke down and watched Still Alice ...alone.... probably not a wise decision. As some of you know, it's about a 51 year old woman diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer Disease, her family, her quick deterioration, her children being tested for the disease. I sobbed the entire movie, the ugly kind of sob. The … Continue reading Moments with Mama…. the Fear
GLIMMERS... For Mama These dark corners in my mind keep expanding, trying so hard to consume the light. But even in the darkest dark, these glimmers still come and go, glimmers of light like riding through a tunnel with windows, glimmers of images, of familiarity. I am confused why they do not stay. So many faces … Continue reading Glimmers
I shared this with a couple of friends last week but it's been weighing heavy on my mind still. For those of you who have been through Alzheimers or dementia with a loved one, you will understand. For those of you haven't, and I pray you don't, you will come to realize one day that … Continue reading A few flowers…
Night before last, I was driving Miss Daisy as we like to say when we're driving Mama around. This is the time of day we literally take turns driving her around the county to keep her happy and to give Daddy a break mentally and physically. It's her sundown time, her toughest, his toughest, and … Continue reading I knew it was coming…
As I think about today, I am thankful, but there are so many varying emotions that go through my mind as I am sure many of you can relate to. And memories... thinking about how every Mother's Day we religiously went to church and how Daddy religiously brought in a red flower for us to … Continue reading Mother’s Day….
Daddy, Mama, and I were supposed to leave on a trip to Pennsylvania with Daddy's church group today. We were to return on Wednesday. However, when Mama made such a big turn a couple of weeks ago, we decided it was best not to take her on that long bus ride up there and back. … Continue reading Life as we know it…
Moments with {this} Mama 