As I think about today, I am thankful, but there are so many varying emotions that go through my mind as I am sure many of you can relate to. And memories… thinking about how every Mother’s Day we religiously went to church and how Daddy religiously brought in a red flower for us to wear and then a white one for he and Mama once their Moms had passed. I will never forget the significance of that.
I’m so thankful God gave me the three children He did. I love them all more than life itself. I wish every day I could do more for them, could be more, could take stress off of them, could solve all their problems, but the best I can do is be their Mom and be the best Mom I can be, which doesn’t always happen, but I am grateful every day for the opportunity and that they still love me no matter what.
I think about all of those sweet women I know and even those I don’t who want so desperately to be a mother and I simply cannot imagine that feeling and I want it for every single one of them. My heart and hugs go out to them and my prayers go up that one day, they will hear someone call them Mama. it’s easy to sit here and say it’s all for a reason but that doesn’t relieve the pain I am sure.
I think about mothers I know who have lost a child or who may be losing theirs as we speak for whatever reason and as they each come to mind, it overwhelms me. I again cannot imagine and I pray for them to find strength to get through another day, especially this day, and to feel God’s arms wrapped around them tighter than ever.
I think about my friends and relatives who have lost their Moms or whose Moms don’t know them anymore. While I want to wallow in a little self-pity over our situation, I think about those who would give anything to hold their Mama’s hand one more time and I can do that today. My husband and his brother and sister who lost their Mom last year, my sweet mother-in-law, I am sure their Mother’s Day feels so different than mine and I do miss her terribly. She treated me like her own daughter from the day I walked in her house and I loved her so much for that. She was so sad towards the end though and so lonely for Dad Ebert…. it was a happy day for her to see Him and to see him but a sad day when we said goodbye.
So many going through such a wide range of emotions today.
And then I think about Mama. I think with Cassie’s graduation this weekend, it kept my mind off today. However, it hit me this morning when I woke up that this may be the last Mother’s Day she calls my name. My cousin, Diane, shared this week that her Mom didn’t know her anymore and it broke my heart and I know that next year, in all reality and likelihood, that will be me. Mama’s circle of recognition has narrowed to just me and Daddy. I don’t know why and I know it’s short-lived but I am grateful to still be in that tiny circle of recognition. My brother… she knows she knows him somehow but she can’t look at him and know his name anymore. My brother’s a tough cookie but I know it hurts.
I didn’t mean for this post to be a Debbie Downer because this is a joyous day, truly, and I am so, so grateful to be able to hug my Mama today. I meant for this post to be just another reminder to love our Mamas. If you have yours, oh my goodness, love on her, do for her, spoil her today, thank her today, We don’t know which Mother’s Day will be the last one we have for any reason and I know there are many who would give anything for just one more. I hope we all have many more but why wait “until next year” …. don’t let this Mother’s Day go by.